1 Thessalonians 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep,that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

Notice it says sorrow not. God doesn’t want us to be sad or have sorrow as do others who have no hope when someone dies.

Why? It’s going to keep happening and get worse:

Psalm 91:7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

We are going to see a lot more death and catastrophe of loved ones as we get closer to the end.

1 Thessalonians 4:14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

We are to learn skills to how to cope with death and sorrow no matter who it was.

Jesus wept at a funeral but not with hopeless despair as people do. He wept in sorrow at how people have no hope.

John 11:33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled, 34 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him! 37 And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?

John 11:38 Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it.

When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, He groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.” He saw that with many, what passed as grief was only pretense. Some now manifesting hypocritical sorrow would plan the death, not only of the mighty miracle worker, but of the one to be raised from the dead. “Where have ye laid him?” He asked. “Lord, come and see.” Together they proceeded to the grave. Lazarus had been much loved, and his sisters wept with breaking hearts, while his friends mingled their tears with those of the bereaved sisters. In view of this human distress, and of the fact that the afflicted friends could mourn while the Saviour of the world stood by, “Jesus wept.” The Son of God had taken human nature upon Him, and was moved by human sorrow. His tender, pitying heart is ever awakened to sympathy by suffering. {HLv 355.4}

But it was not only because of sympathy with Mary and Martha that Jesus wept. Christ wept because the weight of the grief of ages was upon Him. He saw the terrible effects of the transgression of God’s law. He saw that the conflict between good and evil had been unceasing. He saw the suffering and sorrow, tears, and death, that were to be the lot of the human family of all ages in all lands. Woes of the sinful race were heavy upon His soul, and the fountain of His tears was broken up as He longed to relieve all their distress.{HLv 356.1}

Lazarus had been laid in a cave, and a massive stone had been placed before the entrance. “Take ye away the stone,” Christ said. Thinking He only wished to look upon the dead, Martha objected, saying that the body had been buried four days, and corruption had already begun its work. This statement, made before the raising of Lazarus, left no room for Christ’s enemies to say that a deception had been practiced. When Christ raised the daughter of Jairus, He had said, “The damsel is not dead, but sleepeth.” Mark 5:39

As she had been raised immediately after her death, the Pharisees declared that the child had not been dead, that Christ Himself said she was only asleep. They had tried to make it appear that there was foul play about His miracles. But in this case, none could deny that Lazarus was dead.{HLv 356.2}

1 Corinthians 7:29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;

The deepest and truest philosophy of life and faith is to bring ourselves into the most intimate relation with God. God is giving you an experience, and if you do not grieve too much and feel too keenly, you will have physical strength. But sorrow and dissension and untruthfulness is to you a living death. But you must in faith commit your case to God. Truth will triumph and you will triumph with it. {UL 276.4}

When I try convey this skill they look like I’m talking nonsense. We let our feelings go into the death of that situation when the Lord is telling us don’t do that.

Whatever it is, death is one thing, dissension, untruthfulness around us, gossip, evil suggestions, you feel too keenly and it is a worse than death experience. Commit it to God. When you say commit something to God, what do you do? You give it to Him. Many times we say, Lord I commit it but we pick it up again. Leave it there. Don’t think about it. Don’t exercise your mind about it. It is in Gods care. It is an action of mind we must do.

Nursing a trauma only makes it worse. Don’t think about it.

As soon as something comes to destroy your peace, don’t think about it. Occupy your mind with something else. It is not easy as thoughts want to keep coming back but every time they want to come back,

When relationships of earth with all their sufferings are impressed upon your life, the intimate relationship with God is more powerful than that. Jesus is so special, Jesus is mine. The best friend to have is Jesus. Why not occupy my mind with Him? That will eclipse all other thoughts and we can be pillars in a world crumbling around us. There are very few people who can be those kind of pillars.

We are to remain steadfast though the heavens fall. Everything we have lived for, our heavens fallen. Everything we have been hoping fall hasn’t turned out. To stand loyal is the challenge of Gods people today. Do not grieve too keenly or too much. This is a skill we need to attain very quickly.