3. Relationships in the Home

By John Thiel, Relationships, Part 3,  mp3

We are living in the last moments of this world’s history in which we need to prepare ourselves to enter heaven. The relationships of heaven need to be learned here on earth before we get there. We concentrated in the last message in reference to a living connection with God. We need to have a relationship with God continually so we can have meaningful and peaceful relationships in the home, church and in society. The word of God says we need more than a theoretical knowledge. Many Christians are mere moralists. When it comes to relationships people love to moralize. They love to exchange the theory. We can moralize with what is meant to be but are we living that way? It is easy to moralize in regard to relationships but the life may not be fragrant.

A mechanical obedience may hide the smoldering fire of rebellion, but it is ready to break out at any time against restraint. Medical Ministry p 177

A mechanical obedience to the theory of the truth will not succeed because at any time that smoldering fire can break out.

In the service of such there is no peace or light or love. Medical Ministry p 177

In the living reality of your daily life is there perfect peace light and love in your home, church and in society?

The atmosphere surrounding their souls is not fragrant. The influence of their words and actions is felt by others, and this influence is a harm even to those who are trying to do their best in any position in which they are placed. Self-pity is deteriorating to the characters of those who cherish it, and it exerts an influence that spoils the happiness of others. Medical Ministry p 177

We can see from this testimony we need an experience far higher than merely doing what we know we should be doing and doing it while underneath I am boiling. God wants all to have his grace and his spirit to make the life fragrant. The presence of God’s spirit in us is so important and we must understand how we can have that relationship every moment of each day. We are to open our ears and heart in the audience chamber of the Most High by reading the word of God and Spirit of Prophecy for they are God’s voice speaking to us personally. We are dealing with something more than theory we must have faith. I want to reflect for a moment before we go into our meditation of what we heard last week

Faith that enables us to receive God’s gifts is itself a gift, [Ephesians 2] of which some measure is imparted to every human being. It grows as exercised in appropriating the Word of God. In order to strengthen faith, we must often bring it in contact with the Word. In the study of the Bible the student should be led to see the power of God’s Word. [What is the power of God’s word? ] In the creation, “he spake and it was done; he commanded, and it stood fast” (Psalm 33:9). . . . {RC 126.5}

The faith that God has given us is to grow as we exercise it. We are to exercise it by appropriating the word of God because it is his word speaking to us personally. I must bring my faith in contact with the word. In we read God’s word in faith we take that voice that was spoken at creation when he spoke and it happened. To have the faith that I must exercise so I can actually experience his warm presence in my life I need to take the work as he spoke it in creation. It is God’s voice speaking to me personally. I am in the audience chamber of God. What is Faith in that respect?

Faith is trusting God–believing that He loves us, and knows best what is for our good. {RC 126.2}

Faith is trusting God. What does trust mean? Do you rely on your own opinion when you trust someone else, no you don’t? We must not trust ourselves. Cursed is the man that makes flesh his arm that trusts in man. We are to trust God implicitly without any reserve. That is faith according to the revelation of God’s word. A living connection with God through his word will render me with a conscious sense of his presence. It will render me with a trusting faith relationship by appreciating that connection and the sense of God’s presence. The sense of his presence and my trusting faith in that presence brings results. This is what we want to explore as we look at a living connection with God.

As a shield from temptation and an inspiration to purity and truth, no other influence can equal the sense of God’s presence. RC 126.7

The presence of God is a sense and an influence that can equal none other.

Only the sense of God’s presence can banish the fear that, for the timid child, would make life a burden. RC p 127.5

What burdens do you bear in the home, at work and in your emotional life? Are you a timid child? God speaks to the child inside of us whether we like to admit it or not. Inside of the burliest looking man is a soft timid little child. In each one of us there is that little child that hides behind some facade. I once preached a sermon entitled “Are you hiding?” That little child is often hiding behind a facade such as that macho man, that rigid legalism of Christianity, that relationship problem in the home where we keep ourselves aloof lest we get hurt by one another. We hide behind a façade because the little timid child does not like being hurt. But what did we read?

Only the sense of God’s presence can banish the fear that, for the timid child, would make life a burden. RC p 127.5

God’s word is the highest form of psychology. People go to psychologists to deal with that little child and man only messes it up all the more. Those who have had experience with the worldly methods of counselling know what I am talking about and how destructive it is. God is speaking to the child inside of me, that timid child and he is coming very close to us through his presence if we will let him. Many people do not let God come any closer that just being with them. They do not want another individual right inside the private space of their being so they keep God at arm’s length. What did Jesus say that would affect our relationships with one another positively? Jesus is praying for his disciples but also for us today. What does he pray?

John 17:20, 21 Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;

17:21 That they all may be one;

But how? Unity is lovely but how many times do people get hurt by being too close to each other.

John 17:21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, [art] in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

When the world sees a people who are in such oneness with each other they know this is not human. They will know it.

John 17:23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.

There is a universe of understanding in these few words. I know in my entire ministry this is very poorly understood. I know because there has been perfect relationships that I have experienced with souls here or there and with the church in the beginning when we first start out there was a beautiful relationship then all sorts of things came in to break the relationship because people lose sight of the message of the oneness of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit which is to be ingested by the hearers of the word. As we behold the prayer of Christ, a relationship with God in us, a sense of his presence will affect the oneness in the home and in the church and our attitude to society. To understand and comprehend the oneness that Jesus is speaking about can be best demonstrated in marriage and family life in the home. Let us look at God at work in creation while remembering what we have already understood from the prayer of Christ.

John 17:23 I in them and thou in me that they may be made perfect in one.

Genesis is the beginning of this prayer.

Genesis 1:26, 27 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

1:27 So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

He made male and female in his own image. Let US make man in OUR image so he made man in plural, male and female. What comes up in our understanding?

Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

2:23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

We see a unity and a oneness between more than one person. A union of two being one as God is three being one. This is an intimacy is the miracle of creation and procreation. When husband and wife procreate and produce a child their DNA is bound together in one person. How do they find relatives of the deceased today? They do it with DNA. Today’s knowledge in Science brings our understanding of the prayer of Christ much more closely than we have every understood it before. God has increased knowledge. None need miss the point. The miracle of procreation and the combination of two into one and multiples into one in the home is the demonstration and symbol of the family of heaven and is written in the Spirit of Prophecy.

In marriage in the family we have a combination of each other in our selves. God’s intimacy is what is created in the family in the home. The consciousness of this intimacy is to affect our relationships. With what respect and courtesy would we relate with one another in the family if this understanding were kept in the mind. Think about it. If I am continually affect by God’s presence whose creation I am how carefully would I interact with my family if I remember this wife or husband is part of me and this child of mine who can be such a pain and who is so hard to train is also part of me.

When we receive Christ into the soul as an abiding guest, the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, will keep our hearts and minds. HP p 249

You won’t go insane anymore, the children will not annoy you anymore they will not be a burden. The difficulties between each other will no longer be there as Christ is between them. There is no other ground of peace.

There is no other ground of peace than this. The grace of Christ, received into the heart, subdues enmity; it allays strife and fills the soul with love. He who is at peace with God and his fellow men cannot be made miserable. . . . The heart that is in harmony with God is a partaker of the peace of heaven and will diffuse its blessed influence all around. HP 249.6

We have been created in God’s image and there is a part of me in the other person and as we take that on board in the home with husband or wife and believe you have been created in such unity so that God’s presence can be actually operative, there will be a unity that cannot be described by words. It must be received through the spirit of God as we hear His word. This will keep our hearts and minds in peace. Is the keeping of our hearts and minds needed in your home? Do husband and wives keep the perfect unity and communion that God created in heart and mind with one another?

What about parents to their children do they have the self-same keeping of the heart and mind so there can be beautiful communication and children to their parents the same thing. Let us examine and ponder the reality of this as needed counsel to awaken inside of our minds the reality of Christ in us. It is so important to receive the word of God, Christ in me by the faith and expand and explore this reality so it will become a living reality not just a theory or moralization.

Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye.

3:14 And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Are we are able to comprehend this is God’s voice speaking to us personally? He is saying put on, put on bowels of mercies kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness and longsuffering, etc. Above all things put on love as the Father loved Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We are to put it on. Did you notice it say. LET the peace of God rule in your heart and the word dwell in you richly. Why are they addressed to us in the home? Do we need the reality of Jesus in our hearts so we can have the peace of God’s love in the home and in the church? People often say of their wives or husbands they are like this or that we are not matches and the children annoy me so much. Read the following paragraph of inspiration.

Marked diversities of disposition and character frequently exist in the same family; for it is in the order of God that persons of varied temperaments should associate together. {RC 190.3}

Often we think our marriages are a big mistake when we discover our differences of disposition and character. Sorry it is not a mistake it is in the order of God.

When this is the case, each member of the household should sacredly regard the feelings and respect the rights of the others. By this means mutual consideration and forbearance will be cultivated, prejudices will be softened, and rough points of character smoothed. Harmony may be secured, and the blending of the varied temperaments may be a benefit to each. . . . {RC 190.3}

How would you cultivate forbearance and consideration with one another if you were perfectly in harmony with the other’s personality? It would not be necessary. God has put us together with all our differences so mutual consideration and forbearance will be cultivated, prejudices will be softened, and rough points of character smoothed. I love this statement it discounts everything we have think is a perfect family. We are so different and we can’t get on with each other because we can’t stand a particular personality in the other person. Our differences are in God’s order for the purpose of cultivating forbearance and mutual respect and to cultivate consideration of another person’s rights and feelings.

A man may say I can’t understand how she can feel like that. That is right because he is not a woman. A woman has a different physiology to a man, it works differently. For example, a man can’t carry a baby in its womb. The interaction of human beings is there for a purpose to actually blend our temperaments to benefit each other. In Colossians it says put it on. In other words it may not be natural but if you will let God dwell in you, you will be able to put it on and it will not be a put on it will be a reality because the sense of God’s presence will affect you to be sensitive to each other. His presence will do that.

The spell of a stronger, a perfect mind will be over us; COL p 61. 3

When I am about ready to express my impulsive temperament the spell of God’s presence will say no calm down, don’t even express that expletive you were about to let out. His presence will mold and fashion our interactions. This counsel is needed because we are all so different. Let God right into your heart. He says behold I stand at the door and knock, will you let me in? If you hold your pulse you know how close he is. If it stopped you would be dead for it is God who keeps it going. As we consider this we are conscience of his oneness with us and can respect the different DNA God has put in each one of us. This will make us careful in our relationships with one another and we will be under the spell of the stronger mind.

Some pride themselves on being outspoken, blunt, and rough, and they call this frankness; but it is not rightly named, it is selfishness of the deepest dye. These persons may have virtues; they may be liberal, and have kind impulses; but their discourteous manners render them almost insupportable. RH April 29, 1884. {VSS 141.1}

There seems a contradiction of terms here a person while having a heart of gold with the little child in him speaks out then wonders why people rebuff him because he is so frank and discourteous.

They criticize, they wound, they say disagreeable things. Will the character they are cultivating recommend them to Jesus? Will it fit them for the society of heaven? RH April 29, 1884. {VSS 141.1}

Fitness for the society of heaven is our theme.

What do you cherish? Is it right to talk to each other in the home as we do sometimes?

We do well to examine ourselves to see what manner of spirit we are cherishing. Let us learn to speak gently, quietly, even under circumstances the most trying. -RH April 29, 1884. {VSS 141.1}

We can learn this from Jesus.

Let us control not only our words, but our thoughts and imaginations. -RH April 29, 1884. {VSS 141.1}

Many people control their words but are boiling inside. It says control not only our words, but also our thoughts and imaginations.

Let us be kind, be courteous in our words and deportment. There is a great neglect in this respect.–RH April 29, 1884. {VSS 141.1}

Deportment is behaviour. The Holy Spirit is talking to us. He is saying you have need of this instruction because you love the LORD and you want to dwell with him and be the true Christian you should be so let me show you and let me awaken myself in you says the LORD. You poor timid child, I will give you peace I will remove your burden if you will exercise me to the others around you. Why did I begin at the home in reference to such instructions?

The work of sanctification must begin in the home. It is God’s purpose that the families of his people shall be symbols of the family above. Those who are Christians in the home will be Christians in the church and in the world. Many do not grow in grace and in knowledge of the truth because they fail to cultivate home religion. {SW, January 19, 1904 par. 2}

In the family the spirit of criticism and fault-finding should have no place. {SW, January 19, 1904 par. 3, 4}

This is the LORD speaking, he said the Spirit of criticism, not criticism. The spirit of criticism is the very tenor of our thoughts. The spirit of criticism should have no place in the home.

The peace of the home… {SW, January 19, 1904 par. 3, 4}

Do you look forward to going home to the peace that is there?

The peace of the home is too sacred to be marred by this spirit. But how often, when seated at the meal-table, the members of the family pass round a dish of criticism, fault-finding, and scandal. Should Christ come today, would he not find many of the families who profess to be Christians cherishing the spirit of criticism and unkindness? The members of such families are unready to unite with the family above. I am instructed to say to them, “Prepare to meet thy God.” Discord in families leads to discord in the church. The unruly tongue creates mischief of all kinds. God expects his children to use the talent of speech in a way that will honor the Saviour. Let the heart be cleansed from all evil-thinking and evil-speaking. Let this be put away as evil leaven that will produce contention, alienation, and strife. Let the unruly tongue be brought under the control of God. {SW, January 19, 1904 par. 3, 4}

Can you see where contention comes from?

The brotherhood that is the outworking of Bible religion is to be more manifestly revealed in the lives of God’s people today. In the family an education is to be given that will create a pure, elevating atmosphere. A high standard is ever to be kept uplifted. No harsh, passionate word is ever spoken without grieving the Lord Jesus, and hurting the heart of speaker and hearer. From the Christian home all angry or trifling speeches will be excluded; for nothing of this kind finds entrance into the home above. {SW, January 19, 1904 par. 5}

I shared the importance of a personal relationship with God first because many people get discouraged when they hear things like this. This is not a discouraging message. It is God speaking to each one personally in our relationship to him.

Romans 12: 9-10 Let love be without dissimulation. . . . Be kindly affectioned one to another . . . ; in honour preferring one another.

Let love be without dissimulation, don’t make believe, be kindly affectionate one to another and in honour preferring one another. We can do this through our relationship with Jesus Christ. The DNA in the family is to be respected, the dignity of God’s creation.

The principle inculcated by the injunction, “Be kindly affectioned one to another,” lies at the very foundation of domestic happiness. Christian courtesy should reign in every household. . . . The wife and mother may bind the hearts of her husband and children to her own by the strong cords of love, if in her intercourse with them she will manifest unvarying love in gentle words and courteous deportment… The true wife and mother] will perform her duties with dignity and cheerfulness, not considering it degrading to do with her own hands whatever it is necessary to do in a well-ordered household… In order to be a good wife, it is not necessary that woman’s nature should be utterly merged in that of her husband… If woman looks to God for strength and comfort, and in His fear seeks to perform her daily duties, she will win the respect and confidence of her husband, and see her children coming to maturity honorable men and women, having moral stamina to do right. . . . {RC 190.3-6}

It says woman, yes a woman is often referred to as the neck that turned her husband’s head. It is true the woman has tremendous power in the home and the husband should respect that and honour and take care of it. Let’s remember it is our personal intimacy with the LORD that we are listening to. It is the LORD speaking these things. It is his voice.

Proverbs 4:20 My son, [also my daughter] attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.

4:21 Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.

4:22 For they [are] life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

Ninety percent of all diseases come from the mind. If we will let the mind absorb the words of Jesus and God it will be health to our flesh. His peace will be inside and it will reflect out. Our response to the word of God and to the relationships we have with Him is an action of faith, which will make all the difference in our constant activity if we will take these words and hold them continually. We need faith.

Thus, instead of our own, it leads us to choose His way. In place of our ignorance, it accepts His wisdom; in place of our weakness, His strength; in place of our sinfulness, His righteousness. Our lives, ourselves, are already His; faith acknowledges His ownership and accepts its blessing. Truth, uprightness, purity, have been pointed out as secrets of life’s success. It is faith that puts us in possession of these principles. {RC 126.2}

As we come away from this message and heed the words of Proverbs 4:20-22 and trust the LORD so implicitly instead of our own way it will lead us to choose God’s way. In place on my ignorance it accepts his wisdom in place of my weakness I will receive his strength and in the place of my sinfulness I will accept his righteousness. I am his already I just have to tune in. I already move and act according to His activity in my flesh for it keeps me alive so I will simply go on connecting with him by faith and in the comfort of his presence. Let us then go forth and exercise the counsel he has given and we will enlarge this subject in reference to the church next time. May the Lord add his blessings as we embrace and keep them constantly in our heart.


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Posted on 14/04/2011, in Divine Service Sermons, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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